I looked up break. Because I need a break. And I seem to be taking a break from this blog about every 4th or 5th day. But break is so much more than a pause, it is a piercing, snap or blow. Inoperative or a cracked code. Thirty definitions I would love to rub up against each other, if I wasn’t looking to play freeze-tag at recess.
Then simple. Which is complicated, an undivided branch.
Easy, which skews sexual, or promiscuous, when all I wanted was to lie in bed alone and ponder. It is the opposite of uncomplicated, when I needed a night off under the sheets, without words, alone.
I liked the word pause, when I tripped over it, looked it up and found my word of the day.
Perhaps more layered than I mean, or maybe meaning always encompasses our utterances like I-beams and bolts.
But to just lay our backpacks of meaning down for a moment. Lay the past down, in a field of context and buds of divination, clover and bees.
What would it be like, to stand naked, without words, in silence? To sleep, perchance to dream?
Take a time-out before the action begins again?
It always begins again, the needle skipping to the next song like the world was pre-ordained and someone else holds the lyrics.
Right now, every day is a surprise, a mixed drink of ambiguity and clarity.
Tonight , I swallow this down, a full glass of it. Lull.
Let it quiet the bottom edges of my ribs. Even if it is pretend, a deception, how lovely to be soothed by the buttered mouth feel and song of hush. No more To be or not to be––that is not the question, today.
1. calm or send to sleep, typically with soothing sounds, movements, or motions. "the rhythm of the boat lulled her to sleep"
synonyms: soothe, calm, hush; rock, rest
2. cause to feel deceptively secure or confident.”lulled into a false sense of security"
Middle English: imitative of sounds used to calm a child; compare with Latin lallare ‘sing to sleep,’ Swedish lulla ‘hum a lullaby,’ and Dutch lullen ‘talk nonsense.’ The noun (first recorded in the sense ‘soothing drink’) dates from the mid 17th century. Sanskrit lolati "moves to and fro," Middle Dutch lollen "to mutter"